We Must Never Forget

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

George Santayana, 1905

The truth of Santayana's words were brought sharply into focus for me when I read the following two paragraphs located at the beginning of the excellent book "The Road from Home" by David Kherdian:

September 16, 1916 - To the Government of Aleppo.

It was at first communicated to you that the government, by order of the Jemiet, had decided to destroy completely all the Armenians living in Turkey...An end must be put to their existence, however criminal the measures taken may be, and no regard must be paid to either age or sex nor to conscientious scruples.

Minister of the Interior TALAAT PASHA

August 22, 1939 - I have given orders to my Death Units to exterminate without mercy or pity men, women and children belonging to the Polish-speaking race. It is only in this manner that we can acquire the vital territory which we need. After all, who remembers today the extermination of the Armenians?

ADOLF HITLER

The chilling brutality so casually mentioned in those two paragraphs is shocking in and of itself, but Hitler's reliance on the selective human memory to excuse his genocidal order is truly frightening because he was so very right. After all, do you remember the extermination of the Armenians?

It's not enough to simply remember the mistakes of the past. We must also teach them to our children in a way that accurately portrays the true scope of the horror, suffering and loss that they caused so that future generations aren't condemned to repeat the genocidal atrocities that Hitler repeated and that some fanatical groups would just as eagerly carry out today. We must not be persuaded to let evil acts like the slaughter of the Armenians, the Holocaust, Hiroshima, Nagasaki and the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 fade out of memory by people who suggest that the kindest thing that we can do for the survivors is keep all reminders of the tragedy out of the public eye or by those who prefer to rationalize or justify these events or by those who believe that the only productive way to move forward is to leave the past behind without reference to it ever again.

If ever we needed an incentive to be faithful teachers of history, surely Adolf Hitler gave it to us on August 22, 1939.

Consider the Legacy your Stories Weave

My Father was a great story teller. He could tell the same story over and over again and because he was so funny, we never got tired listening. In fact, at family gatherings my sister and I would often beg him to tell this story or that one even though we'd heard it a hundred times before. My Mother was a much needed part of the audience because although my Father had a great memory for what happened, he was less clear when it came to when it happened. He dated most of his stories by saying that they happened just "the other day" and my Mother would have to clarify with "the other day in 1972". They were a great team.

Recently we had precious family in from out of town and we eventually found ourselves sitting around the dinner table, telling stories as my Father had once done, but it was not the happy time that it should have been. I sat and listened as people recounted tales of my childhood misdeeds that had been passed down to them. Stories about my colossal laziness, my cheating at board games, and all of the rotten things I had done as a child. At first I was a good sport and laughed along with them, admitting that I was indeed a bad sport and detailing my cheating strategies for "Battleship" but after about fifteen minutes of "and my Mom said you were so lazy that...", I began to wither under the negativity and I eventually excused myself and went upstairs to my room where I cried for half an hour. It was then that I realized why my Father's stories had been so precious. He remembered the very best things about his loved ones and it was only those things that he passed on to the next generation.

I learned a valuable lesson from that experience and although I've always tended toward my Father's style of positive story telling, that day with my family where I was the butt of many a joke made me decide that I would never tell a story that would make any of the people in it feel the way that I had or that earns its laughter at the expense of its characters. The tales that I pass down should lead my listeners to love the people in them as much as I do, to appreciate them for the funny things that they said or did, not to laugh at them because of their all too human failings, especially as children.

Before you tell a story, ask yourself this question; if I were the title character, would I want this story retold?

Mesquite Groves Aquatic Center

We spent the day at Mesquite Groves Aquatic Center and despite the 104 degree heat, a good time was had by all. If you're looking for an inexpensive way to fill a day with fun, sun and water, Mesquite Groves offers a deal that just can't be beat!

Admission is $1 for children 2-17, $2.25 for 18-54 and $1.25 for 55 and over. You can bring in your own food and drinks, lifeguards are everywhere, the facilities are spotless, and the pools are crystal clear.

In addition to the two water slides, there's a massive splash zone that includes two slides, dozens of imagnitive water sprayers and a 752-gallon bucket at the top that fills continuously and then spills over onto the bathers below.

For kids of all ages there's a lazy river where you can float round and round on innertubes and for a not-so lazy ride, there's a water vortex too! For adults and older children there's a lap pool with two 1-meter diving boards.

Our five dollar investment bought us five hours of fun in the sun and a happy Summer memory that will last a lifetime.

Mrs. Miller, I need to show you something...

See that little brown trail running up from the rocks and into my house? Know what that is? That, I learned this morning, is a termite tunnel! And it's not alone.

One of our eagle eyed Landscapers noticed the trail this morning and went the extra mile by going around the whole house checking for more of them and then letting us know that we had a problem.

As God would have it, this gentleman lives just a few streets away and has recently had the same problem so he knew just what to look for. As an added bonus, he was able to put my mind at ease almost immediately by reminding me that as far as termites are concerned, we're still under the Builder's warranty and the treatment will be covered.

What at first seemed like bad news, in the end turned out to be good news. The problem seems to have been caught early AND is under warranty. It seems like such a small thing but it filled me with profound sense of gratitude and I was reminded of Isaiah 52:7:

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger who brings good news..."

Now to call the bug guys.

Altogether Different

As I was writing for my other blog today I used "all together" in a sentence and wondered if I should have used "alltogether" instead or if I was making up a new word. I entered the word into my favorite online dictionary and learned that although I had spelled it incorrectly, "altogether" is in fact a word and it does not mean the same thing as "all together". If you too were in the dark, let me enlighten you:

al·to·geth·er

adv.

1. Entirely; completely; utterly: lost the TV picture altogether; an altogether new approach.

2. With all included or counted; all told: There were altogether 20 people at the dinner.

3. On the whole; with everything considered: Altogether, I'm sorry it happened.

n.

A state of nudity. Often used with the: in the altogether.

---

[Middle English al togeder : al, all; see all + togeder, together; see together.]

Usage Note: Altogether and all together do not mean the same thing. We use all together to indicate that the members of a group perform or undergo an action collectively: The nations stood all together. The prisoners were herded all together. All together is used only in sentences that can be rephrased so that all and together may be separated by other words: The books lay all together in a heap. All the books lay together in a heap.

How cool is that? I feel smarter already, don't you?

California Beach Primer

For those of you who, like me, only get to visit the Ocean once in a blue moon, I’ve put together a helpful little FAQ on a common California beach hazard; Oil!

Here’s the beautiful Manhattan Beach located a stone’s throw from a Chevron refinery. The oil barge off in the distance and the faint smell of petroleum in the air should have made me look at things a bit more closely but I was so hypnotized by the beauty of the ocean that those subtle clues were completely lost on me and I assumed that all of the green, brown and black things scattered across the sand were various types of seaweed and so didn't pay close attention to where I was placing my feet. That was a mistake.

Five minutes into my reverie, as I was trying to shake an uncomfortably large chunk of compacted beach sand off of the bottom of my right foot, I realized that the algae-like seaweed I had been walking on wasn’t seaweed at all, but tar-like blobs of oil! It was stuck to the ball of my foot and starting to creep between my toes. For those of you playing along at home, here’s a picture that will help you differentiate between real seaweed and blobs of oil.

I tried peeling it off but that didn’t work. I used my nail to try to get it off but that didn’t work either and actually spread the mess from my foot to my hand. I tried using sand to scrub it off, I tried walking on asphalt to thin it and rub it off but all that did was spread the mess further and further. I managed to scrape off an inch or two using the curb but that was the best I could do. There was no way this oil was coming off without surfactant intervention so we headed off to CVS for supplies.

If you find yourself in my shoes, or rather, in my bare feet, here’s what you’ll need: A stiff nail brush, good quality dish soap and a scrubby or two. Note: Do NOT use Magic Erasers! They’ll work but since they are micro-abrasives, you’ll be giving yourself a heck of a burn in the process!

Here’s my California Beach Oil Removal Kit:

Apply liberal amounts of Palmolive, a little bit of water and start scrubbing. I bought two scrubbies and killed the first one liberating the bulk of the blob from the bottom of my foot. The second scrubby finished the job on my foot and the nail brush took care of my hands.

The further we got from Manhattan Beach, the less oil we ran into but even on Long Beach we found it. Word to the wise; watch your step!

The Other Mother

I live in a house full of computer geeks (of which I will admit, I am one) so it was no surprise to me when my son Josh, who is in the same house and only two doors away, asked me a question early on Mother’s Day morning via an instant message instead of walking the fifty feet or so from his bedroom door to mine to ask it in person. The question he asked however was a complete surprise: “my Other Mother wants to know if I can come over and spend some time with her today too, can I?”

Dozens of thoughts and feelings flitted through my mind as I stared at his question. When had he and Emma gotten so serious that he’d started to think of her mother as his “Other Mother?” And how could he even think of spending time with someone other than me today? What did I do wrong? How could he do this to me? How could he ask such a thing? How could he even consider it?

Before I could sort out my emotions and formulate a rational answer to his question, he sent me another message: “When I took her card and flowers to her this morning she asked if I could spend some time with them later today.” Ugh…two arrows straight to my heart. Josh had gone out early this morning to buy my flowers and he’d bought her flowers at the same time but she’d gotten hers first. It made logistical sense that he would drop her flowers off to her before returning home to deliver mine to me but my heart wasn’t having any of that; it was determined to feel slighted, as if this meant that I came in second place to his “Other Mother”.

Why was I feeling like this? Why was I feeling so hurt and so jealous? I never wanted to be one of those Mother’s who felt threatened when her children started dating and eventually married so why was I doing that now? What happened to all of my talk about the heart being an ever expanding muscle that grew in order to accommodate new love so that old loves didn’t lose anything in trade? I’ll tell you what happened to it, I threw it out the window! Spouses I’d planned for but Other Mother’s had never crossed my mind.

As it turns out, I’m not nearly the gracious mother that I’d always thought myself to be. It was easy to share my sons with their girlfriends because the love that they have for them is completely different from the love that they have for me. The two loves don’t compete with each other nor can one replace the other. It’s easy to share when you don’t have anything to lose. With an Other Mother on the other hand, I felt that I had a lot to lose; this was a love that could replace me! In an instant my grace and maturity was gone, replaced by a sad, pouting child. I wallowed in my misery for much of the morning before my head finally started helping my heart get back on the right track.

Could an Other Mother really replace me in Josh’s heart? Of course not! His Other Mother is a beautiful woman; she’s sweet and cheerful too but she’ll never replace me in Josh’s heart because I’m his MOM! Yes, I’ll have to share my Mother’s Day time with his Other Mother but when you think about it, that’s the best Mother’s Day gift I could ever have! Why would Josh’s Other Mother want to spend time with him on Mother’s Day? Because he’s LOVEABLE! I have raised a son who cherishes and adores the women in his life and they naturally want to bask in his attention. If I have to share him, it’s because I did a good job in raising him!

Despite how it began, this Mother’s Day turned out to be one of the best I’ve ever had and considering the fact that there are still six children still to find Other Mother’s of their own, I’d say that I have many more wonderful Mother’s Day’s ahead of me.

The Abc's of Bcc's

Email is an incredibly convenient, easy way to keep in touch and communicate almost instantly with every important, and not so important, person in your life. I'm always excited when someone near and dear to me takes the plunge and gets connected with email but my excitment is tempered a little bit by the knowledge of what's coming - FORWARDS! It's a sure bet that your new emailing friend is going to send you:

• at least one DIRE warning about the harbinger of computer death lurking in the seemingly harmless email that's probably sitting in your Inbox at this very minute just waiting for you to click on it so take their word for it - whatever you do, DO NOT OPEN THAT EMAIL!
• one three-hanky sob story that you've read at least a dozen times in the last five years
• at least two "pass this on to at least 12 friends in the next 10 minutes" chain emails
• one or more surveys about thier life that they want for you to fill out, return AND pass on to 10 friends
• and finally, the amazing money making opportunity that Bill Gates (I swear it's true, I saw it on Good Morning America!) and America Online are offering email users if only they'll forward this email to everyone in their address book

Awww...the joys of shiny new toys!
I think it's kind of sweet and a little endearing to get those initial emails because it reminds me of how excited I was when I first started surfing the web. Because I've been there, I'm sympathetic to a large degree. However, one thing that makes me absolutely crazy, and downright angry if they don't learn from their mistakes, is when I get these kinds of emails with my address, along with the addresses of every contact that they have every known in their lives, pasted into the To: line of a mass email.
Be a good Netizen and teach your new email recruits how to use this new tool responsibly by introducing them to the Bcc (Blind Carbon Copy) function of their email program.
Why use the Bcc? Have you ever wondered why it is that people take the time to make some of the ridiculous emails that people never get tired of forwarding? It's simple really - it's a great way to harvest email addresses that you can then use for Spamming purposes.

The number one reason to use Bcc: it protects the email addresses of the ones you love from ruthless spammers

Another reason to learn how to use the Bcc is to protect yourself from malicious replies! Let's say that you're a faithful voter who just adores the current candidate running for office and in your excitement you email everyone you know with a plea to make sure that they get out to vote for YOUR GUY. Unfortunately, to some of your contacts, your guy is the worst candidate for office since Rod Blagojevich and to teach you a lesson, one of them decides to hit "Reply To All" and tells everyone that you're a complete idiot for putting your faith in such a worthless candidate. HOW EMBARRASSING!

The number two reason to use the Bcc: to protect yourself from embarrassing replies to everyone you know!

So, if you're new to email, take the time to learn how to use your email program before you start sending out mass emails. Who knows, the email address you save, may be your own!